Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
