the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
