his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Welp...herpes.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
