i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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