i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
