i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
