What a fucking waste of an outfit
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
