Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
