Porn is love you can see.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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