quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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