I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
