The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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