I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize