Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
