Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
