Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize