we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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