Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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