fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
