Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
