I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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