I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
