So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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