I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
