come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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