nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
