it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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