Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
