You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
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Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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