I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
