i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
