Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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