she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
