i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
