she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you had me at cake vodka
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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