I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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