Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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