i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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