We named our party play list daddy issues
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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