I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
