Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
