his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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