Sacagawea was the original milf.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
