What tipped you off? The sombrero?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
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Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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