And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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