I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize