im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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