Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
