I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize