But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize