He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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