And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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