yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
