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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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