"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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