Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
