toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
