Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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